It’s not a normal work-at-home situation
It's not a normal work-at-home situation.
A long time ago – like last week for example, most mornings went something like this in a number of households; waking up, rushing through the shower, getting the kids ready (if they’re small), breakfast, exercise if possible (#goals), starting work – whether at home or driving to the office, checking emails and social updates, meetings, doing real work, rushing through lunch, driving back home, watching TV, having dinner, and perhaps collapsing into bed late at night, only to wake up early the next morning again! Life before coronavirus.
Today as the novel coronavirus outbreak continues to spread, millions of people are working from home, figuring out how to turn in reports on time while explaining fractions to their children. It doesn't help that they only have one desk to share for both work and school. Or motioning a spouse to be quiet while being on the phone, or moving the computer around so that colleagues on the other side of a Zoom call don’t see your child – partially undressed in the background, which may suggest that you are not as organised as you make out to be. And then there is a story that I read of a university student who was in such a compelling online Zoom class that when the urge to “relieve herself” struck she took her laptop with her and – forgetting that her webcam was on – pointed the screen at herself while on the toilet.
Sharing the same space with household members is proving to be stressful. It can be challenging to suddenly be under the same roof 24/7 when you're used to being apart. We are cranky, hot headed and generally irritated. That said, we live in hope: history has shown that in times of crisis, the human connection for our collective survival is immeasurable. Human beings are fundamentally social beings and it’s the protective nature of our social relationships that allows us to thrive - the core driver, in my opinion, of ethnicity, tribalism and racism. There is strength in numbers, and after the initial teething problems of setting familial boundaries, the acceptance of being out of control and vulnerable encourages us to turn to each other. In a case like the coronavirus which has forced us to face the fragility of our lives, greater generosity and helpfulness emerges.
Think back to a time when you felt out of control, for example during a romantic break-up, when you had an empty bank account, or lost a job. Chances are your feelings of vulnerability and powerlessness led you to seek the comfort of others in some way. Brene Brown, Professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work and expert in the field of social connection, explains that vulnerability is a core ingredient of social bonding.
I believe that being holed up together as a preventative measure against this invisible enemy will lead to bonding. We will be reminded of our common values, we will make sacrifices and we will compromise. A shared understanding that we are all uncertain of the near future, and that we are all feeling vulnerable despite our ages or roles within the family may be frightening, but it can inspire kindness, connection and a desire to support each other. This is love.